The curse of the writer

On writer's block, imposter syndrome and other indignities

This is the first Brecht’s Beat column I’ve written in several weeks.

The lapse in productivity happens to coincide with my decision to join a “cohort” of fellow Iowa Writer’s Collaborative scribes, in which we are working with a consultant to use Substack to “do your best work, get subscribers, build a loyal readership, and earn an income.”

The word drought is no coincidence.

I launched this Substack a few months ago, planning to use it primarily as a repository for my Tuesday’s With Torbee columns on Iowa sports and an outlet for commentary on other issues when inspired. Then I joined the Iowa Writers Collaborative and felt a small pang of responsibility to be more productive. Agreeing to be part of the cohort - and taking on around a dozen paid subscribers - ratcheted the pangs up to mild anxiety.

Anyone who makes a living via words knows the struggle. It’s all fun-and-games until actual deadlines and real-live readers are involved! A hobby morphs into a responsibility and responsibility brings on two curses any author recognizes: writer’s block and imposter syndrome.

My strain of writer’s block is of the slow-drip procrastination kind. “I’ll get a good idea tomorrow, for now I’ll watch a re-run of Bob’s Burgers.” “Oh, it’s Wednesday? I have a couple more days before I need to publish to make this weekend’s roundup.” “Crap, it’s Saturday night already? I’m a couple bourbons in - I better not write now, it will be dumb!” And boom, another columnless week passes.

Fortunately, writer’s block can be overcome with blunt force. Just sit down in front of that damn blinking cursor and empty page and make words come out. I’m doing it right now.

Imposter syndrome is more insidious. It gnaws at your self-worth and ego. “Ed Tibbett’s critique of Brenna Bird’s asinine political stunt was brilliant - I’m never that clever.” “Art Cullen knocked another one out of the park on the subject of rural poverty. Dude has a Pulitzer Prize, how am I supposed to keep up with these writers!?”

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been paid to write since 1993. But am I really any good at it?

This spring’s double-barreled barrage of writer’s block and imposter syndrome has been exacerbated by starting a new job, a writing job of course. So, I’m juggling the “real” writing job responsibilities with this more esoteric endeavor and Substack is getting short shrift.

I hope readers will be patient with the ebbs and flows of productivity. The goal is a weekly column, but some weeks are more amenable than others.

In the coming weeks, I plan on diving into a few more Quad-Cities/far Eastern Iowa issues. There are several collaborative members from the region, including the aforementioned Mr. Tibbetts and the talented Alison McGaughey. Hopefully our contributions can productively add to the information space here on Iowa’s front porch.

One of the things I miss most about my newspaper reporting days is reader interaction and news tips. Feel free to drop any in the comments or via direct message.

Meantime, I will try to remember that writing for a living is a gift, and work on eradicating the twin curses.

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Brecht’s Beat is a proud member of the Iowa Writers Collaborative. Please check out the work of my colleagues and consider subscribing. Also, the collaborative partners with the Iowa Capital Dispatch, which provides hard-hitting news along with selected commentary by members of the Iowa Writers Collaborative. Please consider making a donation to support its work, too.